Reaction

My cousin Allison died this morning. It was not sudden nor was it unexpected because she's been battling lung cancer for the past two or so years, but it's still sudden in its own way. To be self-centered for a minute, I don't know how I'm supposed to react. I don't think my cousin was a Christian, so there's little to no hope that I'll see her again. Since I'm the baby of the whole family and all my cousins are at least 8 years older than me, I've never been close with any of them. I've had more conversations with some of them than others but it still remains that we were more acquaintances than family.
So how do I react to this? Obviously, I grieve with my relatives as they grieve when we go up for the funeral, but how am I supposed to feel now? Empathy is something I struggle with on a massive scale. I can feel happy or sorry for someone who I know well and care about but if I hardly know someone and only see them once or twice a year at holidays, how do I feel empathy for them?
Maybe the only thing I can hope for myself is that Christ will completely rework my heart this week leading up to the funeral and when we get there, I'll see all my relatives as Christ sees them and pour out love on them.

The opposite of love is not hate but indifference. This quote has become pretty popular recently and it was even a part of the youth's weekend I helped out with this past weekend. I think I'm guilty of being indifferent to my relatives spiritual lostness. I've used the age, location, and lifestyle differences as an excuse not to pray for them, not to pursue relationships with them, and not to love them every chance I get. I could spend tons of time wondering about what if I had been bold with my relatives could my cousin have been shown Christ's love for her but what if's are just new forms of regret.

God, please give me a new heart to love my relatives. Please use this opportunity this weekend to be glorifying to You. Help me to love Aunt Susan, Uncle Bob, Aunt Barbara, Stephen, Greg, Donna, Jamie, Carla, Mike, and all my other relatives in this time of grief and loss. Give me empathy for them. Give me a loving heart for them. Go with me and my family this weekend. Go before us and prepare hearts and minds. Go with us and give us words to speak.