"I've been thinking some of suicide But there's bars out here for miles"

There's a minor but consistent trend in music that finds comfort, relief, or at least some sort of recess in alcohol. I find this specifically songwriters such as Ryan Adams (from whose song Dear Chicago the title of this post is) and bands such as Frightened Rabbit and I think it's representational of much of the world's culture, even if most bands aren't singing about it. It may not be the best fix but for a lot of people, hitting up a bar to drown your troubles in alcohol and find community in either that numbness or in the ones around you who are "Sharing a drink they call loneliness but it's better than drinking alone" (Billy Joel, Piano Man). Before I flesh out what I mean, I'll give an example from Frightened Rabbit. In their song "F--k This Place," the opening verse includes the following:

"One of those cities
One of those nights
Everyone's 'darling'
Everyone's 'sweetheart'
Just this drink to hold my hand
One glass of anything
Anything cheap"

Based on these two songs and the culture I see around me, it seems that people often use alcohol as a crutch of sort. Heartache? Loneliness? Rejection? Sorrow? It would seem that much of the world would say you can find the answer for these (or at least a postponement of the present pain) at the bottom of a beer glass. As heartbreaking as the line "Just this drink to hold my hand" is, I find it beautiful. I think it's finding solace in the wrong thing, but the honest loneliness it portrays is refreshing and in some ways cathartic.

These ideas regarding solace in drinking present a very interesting cultural expression. The culture we live in is very isolated. We communicate more through texts, tweets, or ancient form called emails than we do through face-to-face. I'm not laying all our problems at the feet of technology but we've certainly used it to build our own walls. So in this isolationist culture, it seems that the desire for community bleeds through even the most white washed of ideologies.

T.S. Eliot wrote, "What life have you, if you have not life together?
There is not life that is not in community,
And no community not lived in praise of GOD."

As I interpret it, Ryan Adams, or at least the character of the song, is looking at the thought of taking his life to end the sorrow and pain of the world but is reminded that instead of killing himself, he can numb his pain and maybe even forget it. It's the same with the Frabbit song as the view seems to be that everyone's got someone, but I don't, but I sort of do because I have this glass to fill and even though it's an unworthy solution, it's a sort of solution nonetheless.

The world we live in is not a world without hope as some claim. People have all sorts of hope. Hope in money, hope in sex, hope in booze, hope in power, hope in fame, hope in progress, etc. However, this hope is not true hope. When I say we live in a world with hope, what I mean is that we live in a world with temporary solutions that solve nothing. We need more. Even if our hearts and mouths don't admit it, our souls scream for more, for something that truly fixes things. I believe that hope, that true and lasting hope, is found in Jesus Christ alone. There may be bars all over the place and maybe a drink in your hand is better than facing the loneliness alone, but an itch can only be casually scratched for so long and hearts and souls betray our hidden yearning for community and true hope.

Equilibrium? A long and lonely road.

Where is the balance in being honest but not depressing? Can I truthfully put on a smile as I interact with people even though I often feel the over-dramatic equivalent of a child crying on the ground in the fetal position?

I know I am called to love God and love my neighbor as myself. That means God first, everyone else second, me last. And I know that when the focus is not on myself and my hurting, the hurt doesn't seem as prevalent. One of the few rappers I like, K'Naan, has a line in a song that goes "Every time I felt the hurtin' I felt the healin' gettin' me up off the wall." But how can I be honest with people? Do the two greatest commandments mean that I wear a plaster smile in the crowds and talk when I don't want to or feel like it? Surely not. I mean, I don't know where the balance is between loving someone by actually being honest and genuine with them but without revealing too much. And does following Christ mean foregoing my pain daily and focusing on loving Him and loving others?

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."

I guess that answers my question. It's a long and lonely road ahead. Good God, please, remind me You're good.