Where is the balance in being honest but not depressing? Can I truthfully put on a smile as I interact with people even though I often feel the over-dramatic equivalent of a child crying on the ground in the fetal position?
I know I am called to love God and love my neighbor as myself. That means God first, everyone else second, me last. And I know that when the focus is not on myself and my hurting, the hurt doesn't seem as prevalent. One of the few rappers I like, K'Naan, has a line in a song that goes "Every time I felt the hurtin' I felt the healin' gettin' me up off the wall." But how can I be honest with people? Do the two greatest commandments mean that I wear a plaster smile in the crowds and talk when I don't want to or feel like it? Surely not. I mean, I don't know where the balance is between loving someone by actually being honest and genuine with them but without revealing too much. And does following Christ mean foregoing my pain daily and focusing on loving Him and loving others?
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."
I guess that answers my question. It's a long and lonely road ahead. Good God, please, remind me You're good.
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