Fear

So tonight marked the first practice of the season for my Upwards basketball team. I think it'll be a good year. We have all new players but one and it looks like there will be a lot more skill on our team this year.

When we were doing a passing drill, one kid, Joshua (who had been hit in the face with a ball at the beginning of practice by a ball that had been shot by another kid), was tensing up and cowering a bit every time his partner would pass him the ball. I watched him take a step back every time and almost every time he wouldn't catch the ball because he would cower and miss it or it would bounce off his hands or something. I kept telling him not to be afraid and that the ball wouldn't hurt him (even though he's a kindergartener so it probably would) and that got me thinking about the senselessness of fear. I'm not really afraid of a basketball like Josh is but in my life I've got my own set of basketball fears. I'm afraid of taking chances to talk to a girl I care about because she shot me down once and doesn't seem to really have a great desire to even be friends. I'm afraid of work wearing me down once the semester hits and me not being able to perform 100% at work and in school. I'm afraid of never changing, never be free of my own fears, never having someone to love and be loved by in return. I'm afraid that becoming an adult will only oppress the light of Christ in me and encourage the cynicism, doubt, fear, and indifference I have.

Anyway, fear is such a senseless thing, at least outside of the fear of God. I think the fear of God is right because when we as humans consider our position before the Holy God, we should be in awe and reverent fear. We have nothing to offer him that we have of ourselves and he has the power to just destroy us with a word. God is God, we are only men.

Aside from the fear of God, I think most fears are senseless and irrational. I'm afraid to talk to a girl in person because I don't think she'll understand me or want to talk to me or get to know me or anything like that, and while there is some indication that that fear isn't entirely foolish, I don't know what the future holds and whatever happens, I know that God will use the situation to glorify himself and to purify me. I'm afraid of spiders. Why? Because spiders bring pain with their bites, uncomfortable feelings with their touch, and in rare cases, death with their venom. Pain is an inevitable part of life. Discomfort is something to overcome. Death has been defeated by Christ. My fears are foolish, just like me.