"I will carry you to Jesus"

I've been meaning to write up a blog post the past few days but I haven't gotten around to it until now, which seems like a good time.

The situation with Girl C (who I think I might've said I was going to stop blogging about..oh wel) is gotten a lot better this week. After being open and honest with her, we talked for a bit earlier in the week and I think we both see areas in our relationship where we need to improve in order to have a better friendship. Things are looking better. My head is still filled with doubt as to if my hopes will ever be fulfilled and I can't help but continue to wrestle with the goodness of God. I've been wrestling with that for the past few months and the Girl C situation has been at the forefront of that wrestle. I find myself often asking questions like "Why does God allow such awful things to happen to someone with such a caring heart?" and "How do I rest in faith and hope in my future when I can't earn any good thing in my life and I don't understand God's plan in my life?"

The title of this post is from a Steven Curtis Chapman song of the same name. The song is about how while we're not always able to relate or understand someone else's pain, we can continue to lift them up to Jesus, who can understand and can help. Without going into detail, someone I know and really care about is and has been dealing with a really messed up situation for a while and I have a strong desire to help and be there but I feel powerless and whatever I say, at least in my mind, just sounds like little Christian fortune cookie quotes.

So, instead of talking for the sake of talking, I'm just gonna post the lyrics to the whole song.

I will not pretend to feel the pain you’re going through
I know I cannot comprehend the hurt you’ve known
And I used to think it mattered if I understood
But now I just don’t know

Well, I’ll admit sometimes I still wish I knew what to say
And I keep looking for a way to fix it all
But we know we’re at the mercy of God’s higher ways
And our ways are so small

But I will carry you to Jesus
He is everything you need
I will carry you to Jesus on my knees

It’s such a privilege for me to give this gift to you
All I’d ever hope you’d give me in return
Is to know that you’ll be there to do the same for me
When the tables turn

And if you need to cry go on and I, I will cry along with you, yeah
I’ve given you what I have but still I know the best thing I can do
Is just pray for you

I’ll carry you
I’ll take you to Jesus on my knees