So exactly one year ago, I wrote the following in a blog post:
"Valentine's Day is a day that for some people is a reminder to demonstrate their love for a special someone, for others a day of obligation and expectation, and for others still a day of loneliness, frustration, or self-pity. I had planned to flesh this out further but because I started this in the afternoon and then didnt' get back to it until 11:45, with a crappy night at work and a host of other things in between, I'm gonna cut it short and maybe blog about these things some other time."
Hello, some other time.
I'm listening to a newly purchased album by a band called Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors, so this may or may not influence this post.
I agree with what I said last year. For some people, Valentine's Day is a day where people feel forced to express feelings they have or at least claim to have for someone else through deeds or material gifts. For those people, it's not affection that drives them, it's fear, obligation, or both.
For others, it's a day where almost everything around them is a reminder of what they both lack and desire. It's not a day of celebrating the blessings of relationships, it's a day to mourn the death of past relationships and the current wasteland of present relationships.
And for others still (this is the minority group), it's simply a day to do something out of the ordinary for someone that is special to you.
It's easy for me to relate more to the S.A.D. (Single Awareness Day) celebrators or to say that if I did have a girlfriend, I'd fall into that third group, but I fear that if I ever do find someone, I'd soon take them for granted just as I do the myriad of blessings I have in my life. Idealism says I'll forever treasure that special someone; realism says I'm a selfish man who will hurt that someone again and again. Let it never be and if it does happen, may forgiveness be swift and unending as God's forgiveness is.
I've said this before but I think love, at least romantic love between a man and a woman, is near-perfectly described in Thrice's song The Weight. In the chorus, lead singer Dustin Kensrue sings, "Come what may, I won't abandon you or leave you behind, because love is a loyalty sworn, not a burning for a moment." I think it's quite obvious that for a while our culture has been full of momentary burnings and that's why divorce rates, the number of single parents, and completely broken homes are so high. I hope and pray that if God ever blesses me with a wife, I'll live with a loyalty sworn to that person, especially when things get hard.
So the first song I ever heard by Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors, which is the one that drew me in, is just now coming on. It's called Someday and it's pretty much a tune for the hopeful-yet-hopeless romantic. So, to my future spouse (assuming I ever have one), I'll sing the chorus: "Someday, I will hold you in my arms. Someday, you will know that I am the only one for you."
In conclusion, I'm not as down as I have been in previous Valentine's Days. Although I'm not quite sure if there's a future with Girl C, I'm trying hard to focus on being friends and getting to know and love her through that outlet, so that's probably part of why I'm not bitter. And maybe it's because I'm seeing how so many people have so much to bear, so me whining about not getting what I want seems completely and horribly selfish. Regardless, I'm focusing on the numerous blessings in my life and not griping about what I have no control over (which really is almost everything). Que sera, sera.
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