The scariest thing

I think the scariest thing to have to live with in my life is knowing that I can't earn a single good thing. I can help friends, love people I don't know, be a good student, work hard, and build a tower of good deeds, and yet I can't earn salvation. I can't earn my way to Heaven. I can't earn people's love and friendship. I can't win Girl C's heart. No matter what I do, the things worth attaining in this life are all gifts. We are beggars all.

Pertaining to trying to win/earn Girl C's heart, I wrote a little line a week or two ago.
" I don’t deserve you

And I cannot earn you

Fourteen years is just not enough"