As with part one, I do want to begin with a warning that the rest of this post will have some "cuss words" throughout and if you are offended, hurt, or in any way worse off because of these words, I recommend you don't look at the rest of this post. I explain my stance on language in part one, so if you want to know more about why I say what I say on here, look at the opening of that post.
Pleasantries are bullshit. I don't totally mean "Hey, how are you" and "Nice to see you." I mean that extra step, like when one woman comments on another's fashion and says they love it when more than likely they don't. I mean when someone sees you in passing and you say hi to each other and that person says "How are you?" or some form of it and continues on without caring for a response. I understand people being busy and certain situations calling for an extra dash of politeness, but come on. I'm gonna go out on a limb and reference Fight Club. It feels like, at least to me, that more often than not, people are "just waiting for their turn to speak." This is bullshit that I see every day, both in situations I just observe and in situations I take part in. I realize how hypocritical I am but I admit to spewing out the same bullshit for which I criticize others.
As I've grown up, I've seen bullshit in almost every social situation I've come across. Be it pleasantries, fake smiles, fake interest, fake love, fake whatever, we are creatures of hypocrisy and bullshit. I am the biggest hypocrite I know because as I rant about all this stuff, I'm more than likely going to do much of it in upcoming social situations.
I can't emphasize enough how much I value honesty. There is a fine line between being honesty and being a douchebag. Being honest means telling someone they aren't gorgeous or that that shirt doesn't make them look handsome. Being a douchebag means being honest and then taking the extra step to criticize. Opinions are on thing, being an overly critical jackass is another. More often than not, I am an overly critical jackass. For the friends who know me, they know I am one of the first ones to complain about or criticize in a situation. I do this because I am a sinner and very often it makes me feel better about myself when I can knock someone else down a notch or two. Sometimes I'm critical or spiteful to drive a point but 90% of the time, it's just because I'm a douche.
That said, I wish people would be more honest with me. If someone has a problem with me, I kinda would rather they talk to me about it (without harping on it) then to just let frustration fester and grow into something worse. I can't tell you how annoying it is when someone tries to tell me something false when I know the truth, i.e. that I look good when at best I look okay or that they love me when they really only like me and certain aspects of me. I just wish people would try and limit all the bullshit they produce, myself included in that "people" group.
Someday I'd love to just snap and go on a Facebook spree of commenting on people's statuses, pictures, and posts by calling all of the bullshit I see. I can just look at my news feed and see multiple people (mainly high school girls) telling other people they love them so much and blah blah fucking blah. It annoys me to no end when girls have tiny little debates about who loves the other more when the truth probably is that neither one actually loves the other. I'm not saying we should all say exactly what we're thinking all the time 'cause a lot of us are pretty messed up and mean, so honesty would do much more harm than good. However, I think we all ought to strive to genuinely love each other, both through being honest in order to help someone (and not tear down) and in sacrificing ourselves for people. By sacrificing ourselves, I don't necessarily mean as far as death. What I mean is taking time to listen to someone who is hurting or lonely or whatever even if you have an incredibly busy day or your body is making it's own definition of "tired." People think love is an emotion but I was reminded today by Dr. Akin, the president of Southeastern, that love is action. Love is putting someone else in front of you. Love is listening to that incredibly annoying person who you wouldn't even call your friend solely because they need an ear to listen to them. Love is going out of your way to do the right thing for someone else, even if it inconveniences you or even makes things worse for you. Love is, well, I don't really know what love amongst us fallen humans is. I mean, I know what it is but I don't really know how to love others.
This is how John explains love:
"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers."- 1 John 3:16 (ESV)
"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:13 (ESV)
I think Jesus is THE best example of love because he chose to become a man and leave the perfection of Heaven, he led disciples, he healed the sick and the poor, he loved and fellowshipped (not a word, I know) with the people that others looked down upon (namely tax collectors and whores), and he willingly carried his cross to die, enduring being mocked, beaten and torn apart, tortured with a jagged whip and a crown of thorns, and ultimately being pierced by nails and a spear and then suffocating on a cross. I watched the Passion of the Christ a week or two back and while I didn't really like the movie very much due to some strange additions, some of the intense scenes of Jesus' walk to die were very unyielding. To be able to conjure up a basic mental image idea of Jesus' back being torn up by a whip and nails being driven to his hands makes it all the more dumbfounding that he could willingly do all this simply for foolish, wicked men like those that killed him and like me. If I were in that position, I would have been clawing at people and fighting and doing my best to get the hell out of Dodge as the saying goes. Yet, Jesus didn't do that. As Scripture says, "He opened not his mouth." We see true love through Jesus because in that horrible moment, he chose to give sinful creation a chance at being redeemed over saving himself from physical pain and the unimaginable spiritual torment of taking the world's sin upon himself, a sinless being.
I know this has been a strange post since I've gone from bullshit in life to love to Scripture back to love then to Jesus, but this is kinda how my mind works. All this to say, the idea of love that I'm not really sure on is the idea of romantic love. Scripture doesn't really talk about that a whole lot and while I believe that it is still putting another before yourself, I'm not really sure how it all plays out in real life. I chalk some of this lack of understanding to my very minuscule amount of life experience. Maybe in 10 or 20 years I'll look back at this post and have a better grasp on life, love, and romance. Maybe then I'll even be less of a hypocrite and will produce less bullshit.
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