It's the wanting that kills

The wanting is what hurts me. The wanting of what I do not have opens up a void in my heart and mind and when that void is not filled with what I desire (or something better), then despair is ready and willing to fill it instead. It's my desire to have someone that kills me, not the lack of having someone. It's not the hope (or lack thereof) that kills me, it's the discontent with the grace I already have. I am broken.